The Class Clown is the guy who runs across the football field naked during the cheerleader's routine. The Class Comedian is the guy who talked him into doing it.… Citește mai mult

If you want to have friends. avoid politics and religion you will have friends forever. You make what ever sacrifice you can for the family Trust no one but the people you trust If the deal is too good to be true,,, you will see People lie, People steal, People cheat,.... if anyone tells you they don't do any of those, they are Lying to you Your mother is the reason i worked all my life Everyone has two faces. The one they show in public and the one they show at home, The one they show at home is sometimes the worst… Citește mai mult

Hockey - Skates = Mixed Martial Arts Golf - Swings = Walking American Football - Padding = Rugby… Citește mai mult

Two Women Trying To Kill Each Other Over A Pair Of Shoes.… Citește mai mult

This calculation shows how many miles/kilometers the Sun has carried you through the galaxy (on the average) since you were born. Since the Earth is anchored to the Sun, the Earth's revolution speed is not included (as that is akin to having one foot nailed to the floor and running in a circle) That is the reason only the speed of the Sun is used in the equation. 450,000mph (720,000 kph) x 24 x 365 x your age in years Break out the calculator and see how far you have traveled around the Milky Way and post in the comments section as I have. You would be surprised on how far you have travell… Citește mai mult

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?-----To show the possum it could be done. 2. Why did the rooster cross the road?------Because his dick was stuck in the chicken. 3. What do you get when you give a 14 year old boy viagra?------A 15 year old boy with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 4. A housewife and a sex ther****t are at a party. The sex ther****t asks the housewife "Do you know what your asshole does while your having sex?". The housewife calmly replies "Yes he is out deer hunting". 5.Why do they call it "PMS"?------ Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. 6. "Oral B"..... Floyd's nickname… Citește mai mult

All I said was...."Last time I saw an ass that big it was pulling a cart in Tijuana". I did not say she was having sex with a dog, I just said she's fucking goofy A telemarketer called and told me i was eligible for a seven day cruise. I told her the only cruise i want to be on for seven days is Penelope I was asked to describe my ex wife in one sentence. So i said "She is nuttier than rat shit in a peanut butter factory".… Citește mai mult

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" ************************************************************************************************** Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" **************************************************************************************************** From a… Citește mai mult